I have neglected my blog so much. My initial intention in creating the blog (I Heart Asperger’s) was to write daily, or at least weekly, as a way to vent and to share, and to connect with others going through similar struggles. When I finally understood and accepted that I was not a bad or neglectful parent and that my son was facing some real and serious challenges I had no clue about the who’s, what’s, when’s, where’s, or how’s I was up against. Who will help us? What should I do now? When will life calm down? Where are the “experts” that are supposed to help us? How the hell am I going to A) pay for all this B) find time for everything and C) breathe! That’s when the blog came into play. But who knew life would get in the way of figuring out life?
Somewhere between school meetings, OT (occupational therapy) appointments for both of my boys, work, and life in general, the blog has gotten away from me. But this might be a good thing. I have such a clearer perspective now…
My sons initial evaluations’ and diagnosis’ were pretty shocking. I had recognized some of the characteristics of high functioning autism in him and that is what led me away from our general pediatrician and to a developmental pediatrician, and then a neurologist. The diagnosis from both were similar- high functioning autism (or Asperger’s), motor skill delays, sensory processing disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), ADHD, and anxiety. Yeah, that’s a lot.
My son has been working with an occupational therapist (or OT) for several months now. The initial visit and consultation was supposed to address the Asperger’s syndrome and his sensory issues. How can we get him to focus, develop stronger motor skills, develop social skills, and so on. After two months or so our OT pulled me aside one afternoon and gently suggested another evaluation. She cannot diagnose but she has been working with autistic children for years. She doesn’t see autism.
We have been fighting with this since day one. Is it autism or not? As he has gotten older, and spent hours in OT, some of the characteristics we recognized over a year ago have all but disappeared. He still has obsessions but he has been stuck on Legos for over a year. Prior to Legos there was a new obsession every few weeks (airplanes, scented candles, road signs, volcanoes, etc). He has trouble with social skills and has trouble sharing an interest that isn’t his own but he is much more open to listening to other people now and learning from them. So we just aren’t sure. What we do know is that he struggles daily with sensory issues, which leads to anxiety. And that can lead to issues with his attention and interacting with his peers, which can lead to loneliness and confusion, which can lead to an afternoon of either total withdrawal and sadness or outright anger and physical attacks on me and anyone else in the house.
So the blog has had a bit of an overhaul. Instead of calling it “I Heart Asperger’s” I have changed it to “I Heart SPD” (sensory processing disorder) because that is the only disorder we have been able to accurately pinpoint.
Every day presents different challenges on different levels. So from now on the blog is dedicated to all of our daily struggles whether they stem from Asperger’s, sensory issues, anxiety, ADHD, or just a typical day struggling through life.